Mark Sanford Didn’t Cheat on You
July 1, 2009 by Jenn Q. Public
Filed under Features
Clucking hens and crowing roosters, go back to your coops. Unless you’re Jenny Sanford, it’s time to forgo the unseemly impulse to tar and feather South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford for his marital infidelity.
Governor Sanford engaged in what might be the most vanilla extramarital affair in recent political history. His sexual liaison did not result in a federal probe, the payment of hush money, or any of the truly illicit scandals that have surfaced among politicians lately. Barring the disclosure that his girlfriend is actually an Argentine farm animal or underage hooker, the public has no business using Sanford’s affair to oust him from office.
If there’s any truth to the gossip about Governor Sanford’s official conduct, the people of South Carolina will hold him accountable. To that end, the rumors oozing from the Columbia political grapevine should be addressed as soon as possible. But if we determine that Sanford maintained appropriate contact with his staff during his trip to Argentina and did not misappropriate state resources to fund his trips, his affair is no reason to abridge his gubernatorial term.
The governor experienced a moral lapse. But this isn’t some fable in which the king’s transgressions expose the entire kingdom to drought and famine. Mark Sanford broke vows he made to his wife Jenny, not to his supporters and not to the people of his state.
If you don’t like a guy who cheats on his wife, don’t marry one. Don’t befriend one. Go ahead and sympathize with his wife. Call him a hypocrite and a scumbag, and be grateful he’s not your spouse. But remember that point: he isn’t your husband and you’re not his jilted wife.
There’s no reason to assume infidelity in marriage is a precursor to a politician’s betrayal of his constituents. Violation of marital trust is a very different animal than violation of public trust. And personal integrity just isn’t a reliable measure of professional integrity.
Can a man act as a politically principled, trustworthy leader while betraying his wife’s trust and his own ideals? Distasteful as it might seem, the answer is yes. The pacts we make are independent of each other, and we’re capable of maintaining surprisingly rigid compartmentalization in our lives. It is entirely possible to be a loyal friend and a cheating spouse, a diligent employee and an unreliable friend, or even a successful governor and an unfaithful husband.
South Carolinians voted for Mark Sanford believing that his moral compass pointed in the same direction as their own. His compass spun out of control for a short time, but that doesn’t mean his values and vision for the state are any different than when he was elected.
Mrs. Sanford may or may not be able to forgive her husband’s affair. But for the rest of us, there’s nothing to forgive. Did citizens go to the voting booth looking for husband material or to elect a principled conservative to lead a reform movement in South Carolina?
I don’t need my politicians to lead by example, I need them to be exemplary leaders.
So let’s quibble about whether Mark Sanford is a good governor. Let’s pick apart his conservative principles and see if his achievements measure up to our expectations. And if and when he runs for office again, we can decide whether to hold Sanford’s moral failures against him.
But let’s leave these affairs of the heart to be sorted out by Mark and Jenny Sanford. They don’t need our input and scarlet letters are simply passé.
This opinion piece originally appeared on JennQPublic.com.
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It seems to me that if a man can cheat on and lie to his own wife, he certainly isn’t going to be any more loyal to his constituents. It’s not about his affair with another woman, it’s about his honesty and sense of committment. Obviously, he has none.
Isn’t his personal life supposed to be personal?
Why did it become national news and maybe even world news? Don’t Americans have other more pressing concerns?
Did his work suffer? Did his constiuents suffer? His family may be emotionally suffering, but, it is only
temporary and may even be forgiven.
I think important points are omitted here. Gov. Sanford left the state of South Carolina without a chief executive for a week. Even his office was unaware of his location. That is a major breach of office. He then came back and admitted that he mislead his staff and cabinet. That is irresponsible and dishonest. He concluded by admitting that he had used taxpayer funds to pay for his “adventures”… Where as I agree in principle with the opinions you set forth in this piece, they are actually beside the point. It seems to me that early on in this sordid affair, the people of S.C. were willing to forgive and forget. It is only in light of these developments that the tide has turned. I therefore doubt that he is still capable of serving the people that elected him. And by the way, if it’s none of our business, someone should tell him to stop giving 4 hour interviews to the AP.
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
LLS, the point you raise about taxpayer funds would be relevant if it were true, but it is actually part of a false narrative created by the media and Sanford’s enemies. An official State Law Enforcement Division inquiry has failed to turn up any evidence that Sanford committed a crime or used public money inappropriately.
Nikki Haley, one of the South Carolina gubernatorial candidates, issued a statement yesterday saying that right now, Sanford has a responsibility to let state residents know what his goals are for the 18 months that remain in his term and how he intends to reach them. I think that’s just right. We should look at whether he can and will continue to focus on accountability and fiscal responsibility in state government. As a South Carolina voter, I believe he can continue to do the job he was elected to do.
And just as an aside, I firmly believe Governor Sanford’s moral lapses aren’t nearly as egregious as the ethical lapses demonstrated by the lieutenant governor who would take his place. The kvetching going on in the rest of the country may very well seal South Carolina’s fate in that regard, condemning us to a far worse governor than Sanford has ever been.
I saw the announcement this afternoon regarding his travel expenses although I still wonder why he felt compelled to cut a check for $3000 to the state earlier this week….Look, I agree with you and I don’t have a problem with him staying in office. It’s his bizarre need to confide, confess and explain on national television day after day that has made it the country’s business. I think that this is one time that the media did not have to dig too hard for a story….
LLS, he is definitely Governor TMI at this point. I don’t know if his handlers gave him some bad advice, or if he thought he would find some sort of salvation in complete and utter honesty, or if perhaps he was lashing out at his wife for emasculating him in a press release (not that I blame her for the impulse to do so.) But I’m with you, I really don’t want any more details, and I’d really prefer if the Sanfords would keep their marital business to themselves.
I find Gov. Sanford’s willingness to disclose his emotional breakdown and details of his illicit affair very disturbing. It appears that Sanford is so self-absorbed that he cannot see how deeply hurtful his comments are to his wife and his five children. If a man can have such an inappropriate discussion with the press then I believe he lacks good judgment and has disgraced the office for which he was elected. I don’t expect elected officials to be perfect, but I do expect them to know appropriate boundaries and to not share such personal details with the world. The only part of the article that I agree with is that part that states the citizens of S. C. will decide and deal with this situation.
Although it’s an interesting question to what extend we should be concerned with the personal behavior of politicians rather than their public activity, I think suggesting that these kind of serious moral transgressions can go without consequences really lowers the bar for all politicians, especially conservative men. It sets a terrible, terrible example from someone who should be setting the best example–and, unfortunately, part of leadership in almost anything does mean setting a good example. Sometimes, it clearly matters what politicians do in their private lives—what if this woman had been an 18-year-old girl, for instance? Sometimes, not so much. But often, unethical behavior isn’t just a one time thing, it’s part of a larger mentality where the person is inclined to be deceitful. It raises the question—how much can you trust a person to do the people’s business when his own family can’t even trust him? I personally find infidelity completely reprehensible, and this was an incredible amount of deceit that he employed. So, in general, I wouldn’t blame the people of SC if they don’t trust him and don’t want to be represented by him. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for politician to be upright, in fact, we should demand it.
Character still MATTERS! This guy went to great lengths to physically commit adultry. It wasn’t some gal “in the office”. He can’t keep his marital vows? His ability to keep his pledges to constituents is certainly in question. One attempts to live a morally upright life in all areas…(notice I didn’t say to perfection) or he doesn’t. At the very least he needs to pay back all travel expenses. This is a guy who deserves to have his wife divorce him and to end up living in a broom closet. Many men find a way to be faithful to their wives…perhaps they have a certain amount of humilty that Mark Sanford lost along the way or it was squeezed out by the overgrown ego. Maybe by the grace of God and a forgiving woman he won’t get what he truly deserves.
Character – what you do when you think no one is watching. Clinton tried the “personal life” too.
You’re very wrong on this one. From our childhood come our values and beliefs. Our character and conscience are molded and shaped as we grow and mature. But we only get one character per person, not multiple ones, unless of course we suffer from a mental illness. Our character is exemplified by the way we treat other people, including our spouse and/or our constituents.
It all points to character. There are way too many people with way too little character making values-based decisions that affect all of us. A man who will cheat on his family and lie to the public may make a great politician, but will never make a great leader.
Should we disregard Martin Luther King, Jr.’s civil rights accomplishments because he didn’t respect his marital vows? Are the political and philosophical instincts of our founding fathers less admirable because many of them were unfaithful husbands?
Of course character matters, but we can’t discount that many of our greatest leaders were known to live morally imperfect lives.
(I left a similar comment the other day, but it seems to have disappeared so I’ve tried to reconstruct it here. Apologies if this is a duplication for any of you.)